Maddness, Love and CHEESE!
by phantomangel13
Summary: I'm sick of people sticking themselves in these shows and making it all dramatic! This is what would happen if I were to Step into this show...
1. Skipping

**The title pretty much explains itself. All I can say is that I pity those poor Xiaolin people… INSANITY to the MAX!**

I skip towards the temple, humming a meaningless song. (Unfortunately for the Xiaolin warriors, I have a tendency to say exactly what's on my mind.) I catch sight of Raimundo doing some weird kicking punching jumping thing. It looks like fun.

"Can I try?" I call.

"Um… sure." He replies, stepping out of the way. I try it and fall on my butt laughing.

"That was fun!" I cry enthusiastically.

"Who the hell are you anyways?" Rai asks.

"Weeeeeell," I say, taking in a deep breath. "In this fanfiction my name is going to be Amy, I like movies, dances and pie, I'm the dragon of … um… ooh! I'm the dragon of cheese! And…. I think you're cute but not cute enough sooooooo bye!" how I manage to say that in one breath he'll never know. He watches, completely confused as I skip away. (Skipping seems to be my thing.)

I soon find myself at the lair of Jack Spicer. I grin and dash in, eager to cause damage here. I find Jack busy at work. (Evil work of coarse.)

"HI JACK!" I shriek, making him jump a mile. "Wutcha doin?"

"What the- how'd you get in here?" he asks angrily.

"Through the door silly! How else to you get in an evil lair of a hottie?" I reply, undaunted.

"Hottie, huh?" Jack wonders. "I could get used to that."

Wuya floats in. "What are you doing? Who is she?" She snaps.

I take a deep breath. "My name is Amy! I'm the dragon of cheese, I like icecream and goth guys and … and… PIE!" I finish. The two of them stare at me, dumbfounded. That 'whole sentence in one breath' thing gets them every time!

"I don't believe your even a … dragon thingy." Jack says.

"Fine, I'll prove it." I reply. "CHEESE!" I scream, images of cheese coming up behind me and the Japanese symbol of cheese floating in front of me.

I shoot little yellow beams of light through my fingertips and… Wuya is now swiss cheese!

"AHHHH! What did you do to me?" Wuya screams.

"I made you delicious!" I answer.

Wuya takes a bite of her hand. "Hey, your right." She gasps.

As she continues to consume herself, I run over to Jack and link arms with him. "Let's go out together!" I cry.

"Let's not and say we did." He groans, unlinking our arms.

I start to pout. "But…. But… I wuv you!" I yell, starting to cry.

"Cut that out." Jack snaps.

"Stop yelling at me!" I scream. "I never liked you anyways!" I start to run out the door, but I stop. "I'll be back to make-up with you in the next chapter!" I call before dashing away.

"I can hardly wait." He sighs, turning back to his work. "Psyco."

**Hmmm…. It doesn't seem like enough… it needs PLUSH! You'll see what I mean in the next chapter.**


	2. Potatoes and Plushies

**I'm glad you liked my last chapter! Here's the second insane random chapter!**

I continued down the path to the temple again. Master Fung was waiting for me.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask.

"Apart from putting toothpaste in my shoes, no." he replies. "I have a special mission for you."

"GOODY!" I shout. "Tell me! Tellmetellmetellme!"

"All right! I'll tell you!" he cries. " I need you to… uh… get me a potato."

"A potato?" I wonder.

"Yes, a potato." He answers. "But not just any potato, a potato from CHASE YOUNG!"

"Oooo… do you want cheese on that potato?" I ask, my cheesy powers getting the better of me.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Just go already." He mutters, shoving me away. I can hear the toothpaste squishing in his shoes as he runs as fast as possible to get away from me.

And so, I go skipping along until I spot him laying waste to a small town. (I've never actually seen an episode with him in it, so I'm making this up.)

"Can I have a potato?" I call.

He turns to look at me. "Why do you need a potato? And who are you anyway?"

I grin. "Weeeeeeeeeeeell," I begin, "My name is Amy, I like ponies and violins and bubbles and…. And… I'm the dragon of cheese and I LIKE PIE!"

Chase keeps staring at me like I'm a raving lunatic (Which I am). "Hey, aren't you turned on by my good looks and overall evilness?" he asks finally.

"Um… no." I reply.

"What? All the Xiaolin Showdown fan girls think I'm hot!" he cries.

"You _are_ hot." I answer. "Just not hot enough."

"Oh come on!" he says, exasperated. "You don't even like me a little?"

"Weeeell…. No." I say before bounding away.

"Wait! NO! You have to think I'm irresistible!" he yells. "I will make you love me!"

I soon arrive back at the temple. "Amy? You're still alive?" Mater Fung gasps.

"Um… yeah. You see, I went to get the potato but then Chase started asking me stupid questions and then I ran away and now I'm here talking to you." I finish, gasping for air. I flash a big grin at him. He keeps staring at me.

Just then, Dojo slithers in. "EEEEEEEK! SNAKE!" I scream. I start trying to stomp on him.

"Hey!" he yelps. "Watch it!"

I look down at him. "Ooooh, it talks." I gasp. "Now it's not so scary anymore."

Unfortunately, Kimiko runs in. She's holding a piece of cheese that looks like a unicorn.

"You…" she growls. "Look what you did to my plushies!" she holds up the cheesy horse.

"You have plushies?" Master Fung asks.

"I _did_ have plushies, but now they're just hunks of CHEESE!" she snaps.

"Oh yeah! I remember now." I state. "I was bored and I was digging through your room when I found those stuffed things and I turned them into cheese." I look at them both. "Why does everyone stare at me like that?"

"Lucky for me, I had a few friends help me plot my revenge." Kimiko says smugly. Clay, Omi and Raimundo all run in.

Clay lassoes me in. I fall on my butt. This time, I'm not laughing. Omi throws a water balloon at me and Rai… just stands there I guess.

I glare at Kimi. "You dare anger the almighty Cheese Dragon!" I boom. My voice sounds different, deeper. They have awakened the Dragon inside me. (And they pissed me off too.)

"Alright, now I'm angry!" I yell. I get up and miraculously break through the rope. I shriek this really weird battle cry: "AIYIYIYI!" and the whole room glows yellow.

When the light dies down, everything is weird. Kimiko has turned into one of her beloved stuffed animals, Clay's a cow, Omi is a… gingerbread man, Rai's a ferret, and Master Fung is a bunch of grapes. Dojo, now a small gecko, scurries out of the room.

I look around. "Cool!" I exclaim. "Let's do that again!"

"Change us back!" Kimi pleads. (Even in their weird forms, they can still talk.)

"We're sorry!" Rai adds.

"Ooooo!" I squeal. "A ferret! I love ferrets!" I pick Rai up.

"Put me down." He orders.

"Nope!" I reply, but I drop him anyways. It looks like I'm not just the Dragon of Cheese; I'm the Dragon of Randomness! Sweet!

"Look you guys, I would change you back, but I can't." I say. "So I'm going to go and find a cure. But not before I take care of some 'unfinished business'."

**HA! Now I'm off to bug Jack! Stay tooned for more madness later! Amy: Mmm… gingerbread…**


	3. Tiddly Pom

To continue with my random story, I am now going to visit Jack. Um… do I need a disclaimer? Oh… well just in case:

**Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown or any of the characters. Nor do I own Whinny the Pooh's song… you'll have to read to see what I mean.**

I skip (wow, I'm skipping a lot) back to Jack Spicer's lair, singing a little song. It goes something like this:

No one knows, tiddly pom 

_How the wind blows, tiddly pom_

_In my nose, tiddly pom_

…_I can't think of anything that rhymes with nose, tiddly pom!_

I finally reach the familiar gloomy abode. I tiptoe in, careful not to disturb Wuya, who is now reduced to only a floating head after eating herself. I spot Jack, working again.

"HI JACK!" I scream. "Wutcha doin?" (Wow, this seems familiar.)

"You again?" Jack scoffs. "Look, I don't have time for this. I have Xioalin Warriors to destroy.

"Oh, I already turned them into random things." I reply casually.

"Really?" Jack asks hopefully. Devious thoughts go through his head, believe me, I can tell.

I nod. "You see, I got really mad, and then this inner dragon thing came and-"

"Yeah yeah, I don't need the details." Jack snaps, cutting me off.

I throw a glance in Wuya's direction. She's helplessly floating around. Good. I start messing around with Jack's stuff.

"What's this do?" I ask, holding up a weird looking metal thing.

He snatches it from me. "It's a highly destructive laser, now GO AWAY!" He cries.

I giggle, "You make funny faces when you're mad." Jack gives me an exasperated look.

When I'm sure he's not looking, I take his laser thing. I randomly push a button. It starts shooting all over the place.

"Oh no!" Jack moans.

"Looks like I owe you." I sing happily. "What'll it be?"

"How bout you leave me alone." He mutters bitterly.

"Dinner it is!" I cry. "And I know just where to go…"

**Aww… poor Jack. Oh well! I guess Amy is just smarter then she looks… YEAH RIGHT! More later, I promise!**

**Jack: NOOOO! Don't leave me with her! Stick her with Chase or something!**

**Me: Umm… no! But Chase will be there shortly! (evil smile)**


	4. OOOO Shiny

Whew! I'm back! Finally! YES! Back to computer land! (Sigh) I love computer land… oh well, here's chapter four!

**Um… here's the disclaimer (I guess):**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown or it's characters, or the Tiddely Pom song, or a fancy French restaurant. (But I wish I did!) **

I soon came to a fancy French restaurant, towing Jack behind me. "Let's go in there!" I suggest. "It looks expensive, and _romantic._" I sigh. Jack groans.

I run in and am greeted by a man in a tuxedo. He has a teeny little mustache and a toupee. He's funny looking.

I clear my throat. "Table for two please." I say in a most dignified manner.

"Certainly, right this way." The waiter replies. He leads us to a small table.

After we're seated, (Or in this case, I'm seated. I have to practically tie him down.) I glance at the menu.

"OOHH! Let's get this!" I cry, pointing to the part labeled, escargot. Jack glances at it.

"Do you even know what escargot is?" he asks.

"… No." I reply. "And I DON"T CARE!" I practically scream at him. "YOU"VE GOT A PROBLEM WITH ESCARWHUTCHAMACALLIT?"

"N-no… nope, no problem with escargot not a one." He says quickly.

I beam. "Good." We order our food and soon a steaming platter of snails is set in front of us.

"Pick one up and shove it in my mouth. Shell and all. Jack stares at me in disgust. I return that look with a smile, snail goo dribbling down my chin and bits of snail stuck in my teeth. Jack turns a sickly green.

"I'm gonna be sick." He moans, making a mad dash for the bathroom.

"You do that!" I say sweetly. I'm about to help myself to some more snails, when I hear glass shattering and several people screaming.

Chase Young has just burst through the window (like he couldn't use the front door) and was standing on the table by the nonexistent window.

"YOU WILL LOVE ME!" he hollers.

"No I won't." I reply, stuffing more snails into my mouth.

But Chase just grins. "You will… once I wipe out JACK SPICER!" he then begins his evil cackle.

I stare at him blankly. "Aren't you going to scream in terror and run to defend him?" Chase asks.

"I have a very tiny mind… it takes awhile for this kind of stuff to sink in." I reply. So, I sit and think… and think… and think. Then, 'click' it checks in at the Amy's mind Motel.

"Oh no!" I wail. "If you harm one crayola red hair on his head I'll…I'll… turn you into a bologna sandwich!"

Chase stares at me. Why does everyone do that?

"To continue…" he begins, but then Jack comes out of the bathroom, looking much better. That is, until he sees Chase.

"Aww crap." He groans. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm here to destroy you!" Chase sneers. Then comes the evil laugh.

"You're demented." Jack comments.

"I know." Chase replies simply. "Now, let's end this."

They don't get far in their little brawl, because it's the Xiaolin Warriors to the rescue! Well, not really. They just found a Shen Gong Wu here, and they need to pick it up.

"Hi guys!" I scream.

"Oh no." Kimiko moans. "Not you."

"Hey, how'd you guys turn normal again?" I ask.

"It is a most interesting story, you see-" Omi doesn't get far in his explanation.

"Alright, I get it, you're normal now and everyone's happy. Now can we get on with it?" I snap. Having Chase come in was one thing, but long explanations and big words really tick me off.

"Whutcha lookin for?" I ponder.

"It's a Shen Gong Wu." Raimundo replied. "So, if you see it, don't touch it."

I stick my tongue out at him, (Well, he deserved it!) and do a little searching of my own. By now, my small mind has long forgotten about Jack and Chase, who continue to try and beat each other up.

I notice something shiny on the ground at my feet. At the same time, Chase, Jack and Rai all make a grab for it.

"Ooh! OOH! I challenge you, you and you to a Xiaolin Showdown!" I cry.

"A four person showdown?" Kimiko wonders.

"Should be entertainin'." Clay says.

Kimiko smirks. "Five bucks says the weird girl gets creamed."

"Yer on!" Clay replies.

**That chapter was looooooooooong! The four person Xiaolin Showdown should be interesting… um… bye! **

**P.S. Don't worry Rai lovers, I won't do anything _too_ bad to him. As for Chase… well, let's just say that I'm terribly sorry to you Chase fans. ;)**


	5. The final Chapter

Back with more! At last! All right, here comes the betest Xiaolin Showdown EVUR! Yes, I spelled ever wrong, but right now, I DON"T GIVE A DAMN! YEEE-HAW! LETS HAVE CORNDOGS!

**Ashencry45: (injects anesthetic)**

**Phantomangel13: (falls asleep on the floor)**

Ashencry45: No more sprinkles for you… 

They all stare at me in disbelief. "All right, what's the challenge?" Rai asks.

I think about that. "Ummmm… I don't know. How about we all try to kill each other in a violent and graphic battle scene?"

"This is a kids show." Chase protests. "_Not_ a Stephan King novel."

"Oh, all right. First one to get the shiny thing wins." I huff. "Kill-joy."

"We accept your challenge." Jack states. "Let the Showdown begin!"

I sigh. "He's sooo cute when he's determined to kick my ass."

"Dude, you have serious issues." Rai comments. But, ignoring that comment, we begin. The whole restaurant turns into a deadly maze of giant snails and frog legs.

"Yummy!" I cry.

"Eeew." The others moan. I grin; this is going to be fun.

We all start at the beginning. We're ready to go, when Omi hollers, "WAIT! What Shen Gong Wu does each of you plan to wager?"

I hadn't thought of that. "Umm… I don't have any." I admit.

"Me neither." Chase adds.

"Oh, let's just forget about it and go already!" Rai calls impatiently.

So this time we really start, all racing in different directions. Chase turns into a dead end and starts the other way. I run into a giant snail.

I take out something that looks like a twig. "AVADACADAVRA!" I scream. Nothing happens, because the thing that looks like a stick really is a stick. "Dang, that always works for Voldemort." I mutter. But, upon remembering that this is not a Harry Potter fanfiction, I run like heck to the shininess.

But, over my head, I see Jack Spicer in his little helicopter thing… whatever it is. "Later losers!" he sneers.

"Cheater!" I call, and try to catch up to him. But Chase is way ahead of me; he jumps and clings onto his legs like a tick. (Yuck!)

"Hey! Leggo!" Jack cries. He takes out a huge sword.

"Oooo… it's so pretty!" I exclaim.

"Sword of the Storm!" Jack yells. A big storm cloud comes up, and rains on them.

"Ooo, real scary." Rai laughs. "You gonna rain on me too?"

"Oh, give me that." I snap, snatching it from him. "I'll show you how to _really_ use it." I lift it skillfully, and chop Chase in half at the waist. But since this is a kids show, it kinda looks like when you cut a whole ham in half.

Chase's upper half gets up on its hands. "Damn, I lose." He mutters. "Come on lower half." Both of him sadly walk out the door.

"That was messed up." Rai says sickly. He notices that I still have the sword. "She's nuts!" he cries, and runs away.

I turn to Jack. "Here's your sword back!" I say cheerfully.

"N-no, that's okay, you keep it." He replies nervously. "Just don't kill me!"

"Aww… I won't kill you!" I laugh. I notice that the new Shen Gong thingy is two feet away. I skip up the steps to it and take it in my hands.

"I win!" I yell happily. "I got… um… what is it anyways?"

Come to think of it, no one really knew. I looked closely. It was an egg. A golden egg.

"Hey!" I whine. "You guys cracked it."

"We didn't do that." Clay protests.

"Then it must be…" Kimiko starts. But before she can finish, it cracks open completely.

"Oh! It's soo cute!" I cry. In my hands is now a little fox, kind of like the emoticon ones on looks up at me with its big eyes and gurgles, "Cheese!"

"Oh no, not another one!" Jack moans. But I wasn't about to let them take away my little friend, so I ran off with him, eager to teach him what I am, and what we all are deep down… completely and utterly RANDOM!

**Whew! What an awesome chapter! And to think it only took me one evening to write! Well, that's the end of my little story. But look for my sequel coming soon!**


End file.
